


Life According To Lupin

by LilyAngorian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9536117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAngorian/pseuds/LilyAngorian
Summary: A work in progress, focusing on Lupin's experiences throughout The Prisoner Of Azkaban, and flashbacks of his school days. The main pairings will be Remus/Lily and Remus/Sirius, but I may add to this as the work develops.





	

Lupin was slumped at the table, dozing fretfully, the congealed remains of his dinner abandoned to one side, a copy of The Prophet on the other. The room smelt of isolation, stale and cold, a substantial layer of dust coating the shelves and windowsills. A stack of letters lay spilled across the doormat, unopened and bearing red warnings. The sound of pouring rain and muggle traffic leaked through the walls. The phone was ringing in a room upstairs, the sharp sound rousing him abruptly.

Remus pushed his chair back slowly, vision blurred and back aching. The phone rang insistently, and though he debated ignoring it, he still found himself forcing his legs into action. He stumbled across the kitchen and through the messy living room. The curtains were drawn and the neglected fire now a pile of smouldering ash. He took the stairs, gripping the banister tightly, his knuckles white and knees weak. Just as the phone let out what was to be the final ring, he plucked it from it’s cradle and raised it to his ear. 

"Yes?"

"I've had no response to my letters Remus. I'm starting to wonder if you're deliberately ignoring me.”

The voice was silvery, warm and lightly reproachful. Lupin closed his eyes and ran his hand repeatedly against his forehead, as though he could iron out the wrinkled skin. 

“Look, I've told you before, you've got the wrong man.”

There was an uncharacteristic bitterness to his voice, unpleasant but not unexpected. It was a weary and practiced response, one he was beginning to get sick of. But the voice continued undeterred, good-natured, if frustrating. 

“Simply reiterating something doesn’t make it true, no matter how much we may want it to be.”

Albus had always had a subtle power when it came to words. ‘We’ rather than ‘you’ and suddenly he’s shouldering all the world's problems, without having to lift so much as a finger. Remus found it somewhat charming, but it didn’t reassure him. Whatever words were used, the problem was his alone.

"I'd do more harm than good.”

Dumbledore sighed down the phone as Lupin continued 

“Besides, with Sirius…well, it’s no secret. People will make assumptions. I’ve had a hard enough time as it is because of my condition.”

Remus looked across at the bookshelf beside his bed. Ten of the dusty volumes all bore his pseudonym, lingering musty, but unopened. They were a reminder that he had achieved something in life, but it wasn't much comfort. The books he had neither the skill or expertise to write were all neatly tucked away in the large cabinets in the hallway, safe from the dust mites, for now at least.

“What happened between Black and Voldemort isn’t your fault, or your responsibility.”

“Tell that to everyone els-"

“-He's here Remus. The picture of his father, his mother."

Lupin's felt his chest tighten at Dumbledore’s change of tactic. A dull, heavy pain.

“I don’t see what difference that should make.”

He felt the callous words clogging in his throat.

"You're a brilliant man Remus, you’d make a fine teacher. Harry could really benefit fr-"

“I imagine Harry could benefit from being kept well away from any more danger.”

“As I have previously mentioned, Professor Snape is perfectly willing-“

“-I seriously doubt that-“

“-to draft your potion. I implore you to take the position Remus.”

Remus thought dully of the dwindling funds in the box beneath his bed. He had not needed a Gringotts Vault for a long while, even with the books being published. Before long he would have to sell the house, leave behind the scarred sanctuary of the basement beneath it. Unless...

“If it takes me coming to visi-“

“-No. Look...I’ll think about it.”

“Good. I’ll expect an owl from you before the end of the week.”

Dumbledore hung up promptly, preventing any arguments. Remus dropped the phone back into the cradle and crossed slowly to the bedroom window, wearily twitching the heavy curtain to one side.  
Outside the muggle world was grey. He’d never found the place charming, but wedged between the student houses and the single mothers, he’d found that he could disappear. Alongside his potion, the constant noise of the road and the music thumping thrown the walls kept his howls disguised. He didn't even have to affect a weak smile on the rare occasions he left the house, as no-one paid him any attention. The isolation kept him - and everyone else - safe, even if it meant that he found himself talking to the furniture from time to time. 

He imagined Dumbledore cutting through the grey in brilliant purple robes, silver hair and beard catching the eyes of everyone he passed. He imagined the older man taking in the poky house with its' dust and grime, inhaling the scent of stale food and coffee. He couldn’t let that happen. 

****

"Lily..."

"Shhh. You’ll break my concentration.”

She grinned across at him, stirring the cauldron with her trademark focus, foul smelling steam rising sporadically.

"What's in it?"

"Some rather unpleasant things it's best you don't know about. But it works Remus, I promise you."

"I'll be harmless?"

"As a puppy.”

She grinned again at the image, pushing her hair behind her ears with the back of her hand, the motion wiping away the light sweat on her forehead.

"I don't know what I'd do without you Lily."

"You'd probably be drinking some awful poison that Potter would boil up. I don’t like to imagine."

“Please don't be like that. He's been good, they all have been."

"Breaking the law to turn themselves into animals so they can fool around in an empty house off of the school grounds? Yeah they’ve really sacrificed so much for you."

“Please Lily..."

"Okay, okay. I'll lay off them. Though not because I think they deserve it."

"What is it about Pron-sorry, James, that winds you up so much?"

"He's an arsehole. Among his many other faults. I honestly don’t know why you bother with him."

"Is this about Snape again?"

“No. Sev brings it on himself sometimes. I'm done looking over my shoulder to keep him out of trouble."

"Boys eh?” Remus attempted weakly, worried sick as he stared down into the bubbling, green liquid. Lily laughed, the sound light and throaty.

 

“Oh I know. What I’d give for them all to be like you."

Remus turned his head away slightly, directing his gaze to the door at the end of the empty corridor.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, just keeping an eye out.”

“I wouldn’t worry, no-one ever comes down this way.”

Remus nodded, but kept his crimson cheeks facing away from her.

****


End file.
